you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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