I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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