Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i love accidental penises.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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