i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
