He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
