I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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