scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
