D3 body, D1 cock
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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