Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
