The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
