well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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