I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
