the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just had sex bonerless
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
