I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
