I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
