How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
