NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
