it was like his penis was on wheels.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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