im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
