We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
