If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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