I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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