its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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