Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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