I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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