Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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