i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
