do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
