all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
