pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
