I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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