Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
