i don't like sucking hair
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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