I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
