I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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