Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Vodka?
Forever.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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