Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
