Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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