i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
