i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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