i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
