I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
