She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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