Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
