Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
