Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
