i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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