We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
