I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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