No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
