Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
