she was so not down for the gang bang
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
