So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
